*Note: I wrote this years ago when I was in another country, (I might tell you which one someday, suffice to say, it’s not one that people go to for pleasure.) It is still true, although there have been days when I’m not too sure about the last two lines. Yet, even now God is sure to place someone I can talk to when things seem particularly bleak. He doesn’t always give a lot—or it doesn’t seem like it—but He always gives just enough to see through to another day.
When I go walking in the woods, and smell all those familiar smells of damp earth and sticky sweet leaves of willow and birch…I remember all the other times I’ve walked in woods…in all the different places…and how God’s presence has been the same…like a protective canopy arching over me, and over all creation. And as I walk, I remember all the other times I walked in the woods, thinking, wondering, self-sufficient…or hurting and alone. Thinking about the people who had gleamed a promise of something precious…and then disappointed me. Or I disappointed them. Sometimes it’s hard to tell who turned away first. I have a pretty knee-jerk reflex—self-protection—to be the first to leave. But it isn’t always the case.
I squint up at the leaves, transparent green against the brilliant sky, and remember all the people that have passed through my life. Sometimes it seems like life is just a bunch of broken bits of love fallen and scattered about…But then, when time telescopes the events…I see the times when I needed someone and God placed a person there, a friend, albeit temporary. Someone to be the tangible arms to wrap a hug around me, and listen to me and understand, at least a little. And then I see…it isn’t something broken, it’s like separate beads of caring, and the thread linking them in an unending chain of love, is, God.
And I realize, I will be ok. Whatever happens, I will be ok.